Right before I began this tattoo, Michael asked me to remove the bellybutton. He thought mermaids were fish. Thankfully, I had wasted part of my life already answering this question. While they appear to be part fish, mermaids are actually mammals.
One day, while drawing tattoo flash at the shop, I asked my boss, Fabian Nitz, if he thought mermaids had bellybuttons. He continued about his business and quickly answered, “Of course, they have tits.” The throw away nature of his quick reply struck me as somewhat stupid.
I spent the rest of the day on a forum dedicated to mermaids, looking for the truth. After four hours of reading about fictional animals, I realised Fabian was correct. Mammals are named mammals because of mammary glans, aka tits. Anything with tits is a mammal. Also, ice cream makes you fat.